Saturday, November 19

World

Modest Proposal Number 317

America becomes part of Australia.

What you, the Americans, get:

  • Leaders who actually say what they mean. Well, you've got Rumsfeld, but we've got Howard and Costello and Downer and lots more where they came from.
  • Your President replaces our Governor General as head of state.
  • A really big naval base in the Pacific and Indian Oceans.
  • Kangaroo steaks. Tastier and leaner than beef. And no BSE!
  • Tim Blair.
  • Holly Valance.
  • Several thousand miles of beachfront property.
  • The weather that California claims to have.
What we, the Aussies, get:
  • Nuclear warships. We've always wanted some.
  • Amazon.
  • The Bill of Rights. Particularly the second one.
  • Dave Barry.
  • Condi Rice.
  • A free trade agreement that really means it.
  • Halloween and Thanksgiving. It's a long haul to Christmas down here, and they will break the monotony nicely.
As part of the merger, the Senates of both nations will be disbanded and auctioned off for charity.

What say you?

Posted by: Pixy Misa at 06:18 AM | Comments (20) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Post contains 159 words, total size 1 kb.

1 It's a deal. Can you start Monday?

Posted by: Wonderduck at Saturday, November 19 2005 10:07 AM (HoSBk)

2 I vote yea...

Posted by: Susie at Saturday, November 19 2005 11:31 AM (a0oF7)

3 Eh, there's that whole "subjects" thing. And I'm personally kind of attached to the Republic, or what's left of it. But you're free to apply to join the US, if you want. Not sure if the Windsors would object. Do they actually make anything out of being your titular heads of state?

Posted by: Mitch H. at Saturday, November 19 2005 11:33 AM (iTVQj)

4 Eh, there's that whole "subjects" thing. And I'm personally kind of attached to the Republic, or what's left of it. Already solved. See point 2 under America. We still need to work out a national anthem. I propose Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap by AC/DC. Or did New Jersey already take that one?

Posted by: Pixy Misa at Saturday, November 19 2005 11:44 AM (QriEg)

5 Dibs on Ted Kennedy's liver!

Posted by: TallDave at Saturday, November 19 2005 03:58 PM (LD5EW)

6 TallDave, why would you want something which is clearly so far beyond its sell-by date?

Posted by: Steven Den Beste at Saturday, November 19 2005 07:38 PM (CJBEv)

7 Pixy - It's a deal! But what would we call it? Steven - it's not every day you get a chance at a pre-pickled liver. Nice memento to keep in a jar on your desk...

Posted by: Kathy K at Saturday, November 19 2005 08:52 PM (+iiGP)

8 I vote a big yes there. Can i keep a couple of senators as pets? I promise to feed them weekly. :-D

Posted by: tommy at Saturday, November 19 2005 10:29 PM (EhwJT)

9 I'd say it's a great idea. All except for the auctioning the Senate off bit. Nothing like adding to the national debt when we have to pay the highest bidder to take them off our hands. I've got a better idea, we just buy each of them a one way ticket to France.

Posted by: Eric at Saturday, November 19 2005 11:49 PM (bVq1X)

10 SDB, Are you kidding? That has got to be the most powerful liver in the history of mankind. Why, the benefits to medical science alone are incalculable.

Posted by: TallDave at Sunday, November 20 2005 12:39 AM (H8Wgl)

11 Can we invade Canada then? We really need some decent domestic beer down here in Georgia and if we take over Canada, Labbatt's Blue won't be an import any more.

Posted by: Jim at Sunday, November 20 2005 01:57 PM (oqu5j)

12 Kathy K - The name of the new union should be the "United States of Australia" The two land masses would be referred to as "Down Under" and "the Really *Really* Top End." Alternatively we could take a page out of the Kiwis book and call them the North and South islands. The only thing I'd be worried about is the how the US would affect our economy, were ticking over quite nicely now, the sheer amount of debt we would incur scares me.

Posted by: Jonathan Wheare at Sunday, November 20 2005 09:27 PM (DHOFC)

13 Jim, what will you need Canadian beer for?

Posted by: Pixy Misa at Sunday, November 20 2005 09:31 PM (3FPsg)

14 Jim, Pixy's right. Tons of pubs have their own yummy micro-brews. At least when i was there last. we can use the Labatts to wash our hair.

Posted by: matoko-chan at Sunday, November 20 2005 09:51 PM (LpE+2)

15 Why would we need Canadian beer when we could get Australian beer?

Posted by: Steven Den Beste at Monday, November 21 2005 03:03 PM (CJBEv)

16 I'm in on one condition. Kylie has to come with the deal.

Posted by: Dan at Monday, November 21 2005 11:13 PM (akwIr)

17 Can we smack the crap out of Ontario before we go?

Posted by: ClydeLane at Thursday, December 08 2005 03:03 PM (6A1+i)

18 Only one problem...have to learn a whole new language...

Posted by: David at Thursday, December 08 2005 03:35 PM (jrRV8)

19 Obvious when you think about. The only downside I can see is, uh, without a Senate we won't be able to keep our incompetents out of the private sector?

Posted by: Adam Greenwood at Thursday, December 08 2005 06:17 PM (w4Bx4)

20 Would soccer be called "soccer" or "football"?  If "football," what would football be called?  

Posted by: Jeannette at Sunday, April 23 2006 12:33 AM (8xaoo)

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