It's a duck pond.
Why aren't there any ducks?
I don't know. There's never any ducks.
Then how do you know it's a duck pond?
Saturday, December 30
This is not a great film.
Sunday, September 03
I hadn't seen it before because it sounded tedious and stupid.
Steve Rogers: I wanna know why Loki let us take him. He's not leading an army from here.
Bruce Banner: I don't think we should be focusing on Loki. That guy's brain is a bag full of cats. You can smell crazy on him.
Thor: Have a care how you speak! Loki is beyond reason, but he is of Asgard and he is my brother!
Natasha Romanoff: He killed eighty people in two days.
Thor: He's adopted.
Monday, August 11
The Story So Far
Pixy Misa, an undercover agent working for the Amalgamated Union of Philosophers, Sages, Luminaries and Other Professional Thinking Persons, is directed by his boss, Glenn Reynolds of Instapundit, to infiltrate Frnak's Fortress of Drakness. Pixy's disguise as a heron is successful until he inadvertantly corrects Frnak's grammar.
Pixy is captured by Frnak's Heron Corps and taken for interrogation, where he is surprised to learn that Frnak's Chief Interrogatorer is none other than his friend Susie, a nice girl with a penchant for heavy weapons. Susie, it seems, has been abducted by Frnak's minions, brainwashed, and turned into a heron - although possibly not in that order.
Pixy frees Susie from captivity, and together they flee the Fortress on board a UFO. This UFO is of an odd design: its course is controlled by a huge vending machine which takes up most of the craft's interior. Fortunately, Susie is familiar with this design, having previously averted an alien invasion of Earth by ordering a can of Dr Pepper, which apparently diverted the entire fleet to Puerto Rico, where it was unable to refuel.
Due to a snack-related accident, Pixy and Susie shortly find themselves on Mars, which they discover is being used as a forward base for a renewed invasion by the Moon Men, who are now in the service of Frnak. Susie saves the day by reducing the Moon Men to small piles of ash. Susie finds a menu for the vending machine, which turns out to be written in phonetic Greek, which Pixy is able to read. Sort of.
The pair return in haste to the InstaBase in Knoxville, taking a forced detour via Rome, Kentucky, since there is no Greek letter for V. There they learn that the InstaPundit has been replaced by a robot. (Which, it seems, runs CP/M.) We learn - though our heroes do not - that this and other RoboBloggers are part of a malevolent scheme launched by the evil Frnak.
Susie's flamethrower makes short work of the Electronic Pundit, and the two return to Susie's home at Practical Penumbra to regroup. There, they discover that Susie has also been replaced by a robot. The SusieBot stuffs Susie head first into her own main template, but Susie is rescued by Pixy who wipes the Bot's boot program.
Meanwhile in Florida, a growing crowd of bloggers, forced by Frnak's nanotechnology into the shape of water birds, has broken free of their mindwashing and is planning escape. Led by Tiger, who contructs a bomb using only hard-boiled eggs and velveeta, the bloggers, still in bird shape, pair off and take to the skies in the Moon Men's fleet of UFOs.
Now the story continues in episode 17: License to Blog
Tuning Spork presents his six-part series: Spam Trek.
Will the madness never end? Will I manage to think of a plot for episode 17? Tune in next week...
Sunday, August 10
We still haven't been able to track down the whereabouts of episode 15 of The Blogfather, so we'll move straight on to episode 16: The Blogging Daylights.
A kimchee vending machine? The mind boggles.
Well, I was expecting to be bringing you episode 15 of The Blogfather, but something went wrong somewhere and so you're all going to have to Fragulate This! instead.
Saturday, August 09
Tuning Spork has salvaged some discarded footage from the production of The Blogfather and used it to produce a unique look behind the scenes.
My life is now complete.
Friday, August 08
In Episode 14 of The Blogfather: Doctor Blog, Glenn Reynolds discovers that it isn't easy being a heron. Also, the real reason behind the recent lack of Bleatage.
Everything becomes clear - or at least, slightly less murky - in Episode 13 of The Blogfather: For Your Blog Only.
Newcomers can find the rest of the series here.
Meanwhile, Susie (or possibly her robot twin, it's hard to tell) reports on the latest bloggers to fall victim to D.Film.
Thursday, August 07
Today's episode of The Blogfather, number, um, twelve, is called You Only Blog Twice.
And you thought James Lileks' server had crashed! Only Ambient Irony brings you the real story!
Don't forget my Blurb Contest! You too can appear in a poorly-conceived cartoon dressed as a heron! C'mon, who else offers you that sort of opportunity?
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