Sunday, June 12


An Immodest Proposal

I've noticed lately that separatist sentiment has been on the rise in western Canada, what with the government being hopelessly corrupt and the eastern provinces being happy that way. I was reflecting that such a situation is hard to relate to as an Australian, when I was struck by a thought.

The general idea is for Alberta and maybe Manitoba and Saskatchewan and who knows, British Columbia, to break away from Ontario and the Maritimes and then, um. Form their own nation? Apply to join the US?

Heck with that. Join Australia. You know it makes sense. You have the snow, we have the beaches. Both rich in mineral resources. Both sparsely populated. Both have funny accents. Both love beer. Both have mooses... No? Okay, scratch the mooses.

And in part two, what we do is - get this - sell South Australia to the Japanese. It's not like anyone's using it. It's two-and-a-half times the size of Japan, and has roughly one hundredth the population. They'll love it! Okay, they're kind of broke right now, but we'll take payment in Playstation 3s and anime. Or they could join the Commonwealth of Australia, the Good Bits of Canada, and Japan. (CoAtGBoCaJ.)

Where's the downside?

Posted by: Pixy Misa at 12:20 AM | Comments (10) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
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1 Nah, Pixy, we Americans get first dibs. Would be a shame, though, 'cause we'd probably end up watering down their beer...

Posted by: JABBER at Sunday, June 12 2005 01:05 AM (I9l3I)

2 The downside? The commute to work would be a cast-iron bitch.

Posted by: Wonderduck at Sunday, June 12 2005 01:08 AM (G2sf8)

3 Oh, This sooo works for me. And Wonderduck... the commute doesn't seem to be much of a problem to me. The itinerant Aussie population here is already massive and growing constantly. The ski areas are staffed 80% by Aussie's already, so we just need to formalise the process. (and get our asses down there for some sun in return.) We already celebrate Anzac Day here. WestJet (Canadian airline based in Calgary) already does a terific job; we'll just get them to add daily routes to Sidney, Melbourne etc and we'll be all set. And the flights'll be dirt cheap, since we can fuel the planes with what we pump out of the ground ourselves. Bet they'd work well with Quantas? I'll suggest adding it to the western seperatist agenda at the next meeting! Paul

Posted by: Light & Dark at Sunday, June 12 2005 02:31 PM (+Ds2b)

4 What would the official language be of the CoAtGBoCaJ? Engrish, mayhaps?

Posted by: Steven Den Beste at Sunday, June 12 2005 09:35 PM (CJBEv)

5 Heh. Works for me. Assembling the national anthem could prove interesting too.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at Sunday, June 12 2005 11:10 PM (+S1Ft)

6 Put another shrimp on the barbie, eh?

Posted by: TallDave at Sunday, June 12 2005 11:16 PM (H8Wgl)

7 I'd love to have Engrish as an official language. Unfortunately, it's very difficult for native English speakers to master this tongue.

Posted by: Evil Pundit at Monday, June 13 2005 02:33 AM (gNnpG)

8 One downside immediately apparent is that this would make Australia a target for Godzilla attacks.

Posted by: Jim at Tuesday, June 14 2005 11:27 AM (tyQ8y)

9 Nah. Godzilla only ever goes for Tokyo. I suggest we create an inflatable false Tokyo and tow it out into the middle of the Pacific.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at Tuesday, June 14 2005 11:32 AM (+S1Ft)

10 I doubt they'd (the Canadians) go for it. Mainly because one of the reasons for discontent is the gun laws imposed on them by the government. I doubt they'd see Australlia's stricter gun laws as a point of refuge. Now if you could get the Aussie gov to abandon those ineffective & immoral laws they've burdened ya'll with it could be plausible. Besides, could you really see croc Dundee & Bob & Doug Mckenzie rooting for the same team in the olympics?

Posted by: Publicola at Friday, June 17 2005 03:40 PM (bXrfV)

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