C Is For Camel

Travel advisory:

An over-friendly kleptomaniac camel named Twinkle is terrorising tourists in its search for love in Central Australia.

Locals at Wauchope, 400km north of Alice Springs, say the five-year-old hungry camel cow is infamous for stealing and eating whatever it can get its teeth into from cars parked nearby.

Hang on, Wauchope is where? Hey, how about that. There really is a Wauchope 400km north of Alice Springs, as well as one 400km north of Sydney. Anyway:

When unsuspecting motorists pull up outside the hotel the curious Twinkle pokes her head inside the vehicle, inspects the roof-rack and makes off with anything in sight.

But Wauchope Hotel owner Lee Richard said Twinkle's already bad behaviour changes dramatically at the sight of a swag in a visitor's car.

Really? How is that, Lee?

"She pulls swags out of the utes and mounts them as if she's copulating," he said.

Um. As far as I am aware, girl-on-top is a novel position for camels. Not that I am any expert in camel sex, mind you.

"Whenever they pull up, if she's out the front she'll grab one.

"I dare say that anything else left she grabs through an open window."

Please keep your car windows closed while visiting Australia. Thank you.

Twinkle was sold to Mr Richard for $500 in 1999 after his goat died.

Well, yes, I can see how... Uh, what?

"We've always had animals walking around the place," he said.

"We were one short so we got the camel.

It followed me home! Can we keep it?

"We let her out in the morning at 8am. She and the donkey wander around and come back around mid-afternoon."

Donkey?

Well, if Twinkle becomes too much of a problem, perhaps these people can help:

A Northern Territory company is calling for help to fill export orders, but it is not looking for coal, wool or any of the other commodities we normally send overseas.

Over the past 12 months, demand for Australian camel meat from South East Asia has skyrocketed with the Middle East and North Africa also showing promising signs.

Um, yeah, okay. Still, with an estimated 500,000 feral camels on the loose across Australia, it's clear something must be done.

Can you imagine the damage half a million swag-stealing, ute-humping camels could cause?

(News.com.au via Fark)

Posted by: Pixy Misa at 09:39 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
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