It was a bad day. A lot of bad stuff happened. And I'd love to forget it all. But I don't. Not ever. Because this is what I do. Every time, every day, every second, this: On five, we're bringing down the government.
Thursday, February 19
The Very Lost Tribe Of Israel
Australia is an old-new continent. The Europeans issued a false birth certificate for it when the British seafarer Captain James Cook reached it. However, Australia already had the most ancient race of men on the face of the earth - the Aborigine people... They continue to live their primitive lives to this very day.
But when you become acquainted with their traditions among their tribes, you find that they have customs such as circumcision, marriage ceremonies, respect for tribal elders, and burial of the dead - all customs that show that they were connected to ancient Islamic culture before the Europeans set foot in Australia.
You know, it sounds to me more like they are, well, Jewish.
They don't look Jewish.
Grandma, shush!
(Tim Blair < Allah < Jihad Watch < MEMRI. Don't break the chain!)
Posted by: Pixy Misa at
12:46 AM
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1
That's going to make the synagogue a lot more interesting this Rosh HaShannah (New Year).
Posted by: Simon at Thursday, February 19 2004 02:27 AM (UKqGy)
2
Australians are Jewish? Oy vey!
Posted by: EvilPundit at Thursday, February 19 2004 07:45 AM (rZdkp)
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I just learned today that I am Jewish. I was a little surprised, to tell the truth.
Posted by: Pixy Misa at Thursday, February 19 2004 11:42 AM (jtW2s)
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Funny, I thought you
look Jewish--particularly around the wings....;)
Posted by: Susie at Thursday, February 19 2004 11:57 AM (0+cMc)
5
Yeah, it's the wings that give it away every time.
Posted by: Pixy Misa at Thursday, February 19 2004 12:35 PM (jtW2s)
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Tuesday, February 17
Sorry, I've Made Other Plans
"I'm afraid we have some bad news. Please, you might want to stay seated."
Mark your calendar or Palm V. You can expect to die on:
July 9, 2040
at the age of 74 years old.
On that date you will most likely die from:
Cancer (38%)
Heart Attack (14%)
Third Degree Burns (7%)
Alcoholism (6%)
Horrible Accident (5%)
Homicide (5%)
Interesting stats from the
DeathTest:
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15897189 people have taken the DeathTest. |
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Of those, 55% were female and 45% were male. |
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The average life expectancy of test takers is 67 years. |
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10% of test takers have hairy nipples. |
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4% have had team sex. |
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8% work in the porn business. |
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And 325355 people claim to have leprosy. |
Disclaimer: We, despite being proficient with the human anatomy, are
not doctors. Keep that in mind before calling your lawyer as you're
clutching your left arm moaning "Damn you, Spark, Damn YOU!" on July 9,
2040, as you slip silently into the night.
Posted by: Pixy Misa at
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Damn you and your divinative temptations... and damn my own irrational superstitions. Now I'm all curious and weirded-out.
Posted by: Mitch H. at Tuesday, February 17 2004 03:42 PM (tVSJJ)
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Erk
I've never had an allergic reaction to food before. But I'm pretty sure that's what this is. I've taken one of my little pink pills and it seems to be dying down now.
Crosses Lean Cuisine Purely Fish off list of quick, convenient and non-allergenic meals.
Posted by: Pixy Misa at
01:01 PM
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Might have been
scombroid poisoning, where histamine-like chemicals are created when fish spoils. Treatment is like allergies: antihistamines and Zantac until it goes away. (Or emergency room if it's really bad.)
Posted by: Daniel Newby at Wednesday, February 18 2004 05:16 AM (TUAWm)
2
Hmm. It does sound like a mild case of scombroid poisoning. The timing and symptoms match - though fortunately I didn't suffer any of the nastier stuff. And it felt a lot like a histamine reaction. Which is why I took the antihistamines, which seemed to do the trick.
Thanks for the info.
Posted by: Pixy Misa at Wednesday, February 18 2004 05:59 AM (jtW2s)
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The Real Beal
The Universe conspires to uninspire:
- None of my computers crashed today.
- Or indeed played up in an amusing manner.
- Nor did any office equipment explode.
- The weather was not extraordinarily hot.
- Or cold.
- Or wet.
- Nor did I get struck by lightning.
- Work was neither particularly stressful.
- Nor unusually successful.
- Lunch was kind of bland.
- Though that chicken sandwich was pretty nasty.
- Fast & Fresh has really gone down hill lately, you notice that?
- Less variety.
- Higher prices.
- And their chicken sandwiches taste, I don't know, off.
- Maybe I should go somewhere else.
- Wonder if M.Y.O. is still open on Pitt St.
- Because that was pretty good.
- I watched no anime today.
- Though I did read part of Mary Gentle's Rats and Gargoyles.
- Which, curiously enough, is about rats and gargoyles.
- In case you were expecting some clever allegory.
- The plot is fiendishly complicated.
- But I will endeavour to review it.
- Once it is finished.
- Which it isn't yet.
- So I can't do that today.
- I did get out of the crimson room.
- But not without help, so it doesn't really count.
- And I still have yet to complete level four of Throw Rocks At Boys.
- So, sadly, I have nothing to blog about.
- Dave Barry is moving.
- His new blog will have comments!
- That should prove interesting.
Posted by: Pixy Misa at
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Monday, February 16
Flying Exploding Pigs
Always good to see my tax dollars at work:
Professor Schpinkee's Greenhouse Calculator.
(Thanks to The Fall of Jericho. Click here if Blogspot's permalinks are, well, Blogspotted.)
Posted by: Pixy Misa at
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1
That's actually too annoying to be amusing (except for the part where my pig blew up--that was pretty cool).
Posted by: Susie at Monday, February 16 2004 04:03 AM (0+cMc)
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Yep. It's the "How ecologically politcally correct are you" quiz... Plus exploding pigs.
Posted by: Pixy Misa at Monday, February 16 2004 04:14 AM (jtW2s)
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Hey, I got my pig to -300tons. All you have to do is slide the slider on the last page all the way to the left.
Posted by: Anonymous Coward at Tuesday, February 17 2004 05:56 AM (8+XGc)
4
According to this I produce to 190.2 tonnes of CO2 and I deserved to have died at age 1.2 apparently.
I have some questions though, for example why does who pays for my petrol have anything to do with the CO2 produced by burning it? Will I somehow get better fuel economy if I don't use the company fuel account? Does privately bought fuel burn cleaner? I thought I was getting it from the same fuel stations as when I was a student? If anything I'm probably producing less, given that I've replaced my old kingswood wagon with a company provided Calais that they service regularly.
Ditto air travel, does the reason I'm flying change how much fuel the plane uses?
The fact I spend my income seems to also cause a blowout, would the environment be better of if I kept it in twenties under the bed? Sounds like a fire hazard to me.
Posted by: David at Thursday, February 19 2004 10:25 AM (5bVAG)
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Saturday, February 14
Fri... Saturday Five
1. Are you superstitious?
No.
2. What extremes have you heard of someone going to in the name of superstition?
A relative of one of my co-workers sold his house because it was haunted.
3. Believer or not, what's your favorite superstition?
The one that says that if you don't link to Ambient Irony regularly, your hair, teeth and toenails will fall out.
That and the morbid fear of the number 37,473,382,481.06.
4. Do you believe in luck? If yes, do you have a lucky number/article of clothing/ritual?
No. Therefore, also no.
5. Do you believe in astrology? Why or why not?
No. Because it is complete and utter tripe.
There, that was easy. Now what's for breakfast?
Posted by: Pixy Misa at
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Hey, I am a firm believer in astrology. The alignments of the planets and stars do have a firm profound effect on my life. Yours too, whether you know it or not.
Remember back before the invasion in Iraq, we were all guessing when the invasion would come, and it was a good bet that it would be during the dark of the moon? That's applied astrology. The position of the moon does have an effect on our lives, for very solid known reasons. Turns out we launched at sunrise, but...
I work in the Space industry. One day I hope to be a navigator for interplanetary space missions. These missions are extremely sensitively dependent on the relative positions of the planets. For instance, now is not a fortuitous time to launch a spacecraft to Mars. But I forsee that September 2005 is an excellent time.
All that stuff we are getting back from Mars now is dependent on applied astrology, or in other words astrodynamics.
Posted by: Anonymous Coward at Sunday, February 15 2004 05:23 PM (jkvhY)
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Bah! The stars are just little shiny dots on a fixed background! As such, they obviously have no influence on human affairs!
Posted by: Pixy Misa at Sunday, February 15 2004 10:02 PM (jtW2s)
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But I like tripe, in menudo or pepper pot, or even burritos.
The stars provide merely a frame of reference; in fact astrological calculations do not relate to their current positions. To the extent that anything off the Earth influences us, it is the sun, moon and planets, and their relative positions. I have seen enough correlation between chart and personality as to not be convinced it is random.
Posted by: triticale at Tuesday, February 17 2004 03:20 AM (9ulhY)
4
Sorry triticale, but not only is any such influence completely impossible, but astrological predictions have been shown to fall comfortably within the bounds of chance.
I note that you say "not be convinced it is random", so I assume you're agnostic and not a believer. Try visiting the JREF forums at randi.org, where they'll be happy to point you to numerous studies debunking astrology.
Since you like your menudo, I'll call astrology "worthless garbage" from now on instead of "tripe".
Posted by: Pixy Misa at Tuesday, February 17 2004 10:28 PM (jtW2s)
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Valentine's Day Special
This one is for
Susie,
Cherry,
Jennifer,
Mookie,
LeeAnn,
Roxette,
Stevie,
Heather,
Helen,
Linda,
Annika and
Sarah:
Throw Rocks At Boys
Until they hand over the flowers and chocolates, anyway.
(Thanks to The International Squirrel Conspiracy.)
Posted by: Pixy Misa at
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Tee hee hee! That was fun! I quit after the first ten boys, though--don't want to get addicted! ;)
Posted by: Susie at Saturday, February 14 2004 04:26 AM (0+cMc)
2
Awww...at first I thought Pixy Misa loved us, now I understand that he is just inviting us to violence.
My kind of man, really.
Happy Valentine's Day!
Posted by: Helen at Saturday, February 14 2004 04:33 AM (1GFEL)
3
I made it to level 4, then I ran out of time. :(
Posted by: Pixy Misa at Saturday, February 14 2004 04:35 AM (kOqZ6)
4
I've been practicing for this my whole life. :)
Posted by: LeeAnn at Saturday, February 14 2004 10:49 AM (HxCeX)
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Happy Valentine's Day, Pixy!
Posted by: Jennifer at Saturday, February 14 2004 10:51 AM (4DdKZ)
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Aw, Pixy, for us?
You knew exactly what we needed.
hands over chocolate and anime
Happy Valentine's, Pixy!
Posted by: Linda at Saturday, February 14 2004 09:51 PM (mmKG+)
7
How cute Pixy, i love it! Happy valentines day to you sweetie!
Posted by: annika at Saturday, February 14 2004 09:58 PM (Oon5z)
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Beal's Revenge
Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.
Posted by: Pixy Misa at
03:14 AM
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Posted by: Susie at Saturday, February 14 2004 04:15 AM (0+cMc)
2
My shortcuts came back. My mind is still blank though.
Posted by: Pixy Misa at Saturday, February 14 2004 04:54 AM (kOqZ6)
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A shortcut is a terrible thing to waste
Posted by: Stephen Macklin at Saturday, February 14 2004 11:29 AM (UquFN)
4
My partition, the one which held my, well, image collection, ain't coming back; the table is hosed.
Posted by: triticale at Tuesday, February 17 2004 03:23 AM (9ulhY)
5
Alas for your image collection. :(
Posted by: Pixy Misa at Tuesday, February 17 2004 10:14 PM (jtW2s)
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