Now? You want to do this now?
I have a right to know! I'm getting married in four hundred and thirty years!

Thursday, February 19

World

The Very Lost Tribe Of Israel

Australia is an old-new continent. The Europeans issued a false birth certificate for it when the British seafarer Captain James Cook reached it. However, Australia already had the most ancient race of men on the face of the earth - the Aborigine people... They continue to live their primitive lives to this very day.

But when you become acquainted with their traditions among their tribes, you find that they have customs such as circumcision, marriage ceremonies, respect for tribal elders, and burial of the dead - all customs that show that they were connected to ancient Islamic culture before the Europeans set foot in Australia.

You know, it sounds to me more like they are, well, Jewish.

They don't look Jewish.

Grandma, shush!

(Tim Blair < Allah < Jihad Watch < MEMRI. Don't break the chain!)

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Cool

Pixy Fantastic

(Thanks to Ghost of a flea)

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Tuesday, February 17

Cool

Sorry, I've Made Other Plans

"I'm afraid we have some bad news. Please, you might want to stay seated."

Mark your calendar or Palm V. You can expect to die on:

July 9, 2040
at the age of 74 years old.


On that date you will most likely die from:

Cancer (38%)
Heart Attack (14%)
Third Degree Burns (7%)
Alcoholism (6%)
Horrible Accident (5%)
Homicide (5%)


Interesting stats from the DeathTest:

15897189 people have taken the DeathTest.
Of those, 55% were female and 45% were male.
The average life expectancy of test takers is 67 years.
10% of test takers have hairy nipples.
4% have had team sex.
8% work in the porn business.
And 325355 people claim to have leprosy.

Disclaimer: We, despite being proficient with the human anatomy, are not doctors. Keep that in mind before calling your lawyer as you're clutching your left arm moaning "Damn you, Spark, Damn YOU!" on July 9, 2040, as you slip silently into the night.

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Life

Erk

I've never had an allergic reaction to food before. But I'm pretty sure that's what this is. I've taken one of my little pink pills and it seems to be dying down now.

Crosses Lean Cuisine Purely Fish off list of quick, convenient and non-allergenic meals.

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Blog

The Real Beal

The Universe conspires to uninspire:

  • None of my computers crashed today.

  • Or indeed played up in an amusing manner.

  • Nor did any office equipment explode.

  • The weather was not extraordinarily hot.

  • Or cold.

  • Or wet.

  • Nor did I get struck by lightning.

  • Work was neither particularly stressful.

  • Nor unusually successful.

  • Lunch was kind of bland.

  • Though that chicken sandwich was pretty nasty.

  • Fast & Fresh has really gone down hill lately, you notice that?

  • Less variety.

  • Higher prices.

  • And their chicken sandwiches taste, I don't know, off.

  • Maybe I should go somewhere else.

  • Wonder if M.Y.O. is still open on Pitt St.

  • Because that was pretty good.

  • I watched no anime today.

  • Though I did read part of Mary Gentle's Rats and Gargoyles.

  • Which, curiously enough, is about rats and gargoyles.

  • In case you were expecting some clever allegory.

  • The plot is fiendishly complicated.

  • But I will endeavour to review it.

  • Once it is finished.

  • Which it isn't yet.

  • So I can't do that today.

  • I did get out of the crimson room.

  • But not without help, so it doesn't really count.
  • And I still have yet to complete level four of Throw Rocks At Boys.

  • So, sadly, I have nothing to blog about.

  • Dave Barry is moving.

  • His new blog will have comments!

  • That should prove interesting.

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Monday, February 16

World

Flying Exploding Pigs

Always good to see my tax dollars at work:

Professor Schpinkee's Greenhouse Calculator.

(Thanks to The Fall of Jericho. Click here if Blogspot's permalinks are, well, Blogspotted.)

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Saturday, February 14

Blog

Fri... Saturday Five

1. Are you superstitious?

No.

2. What extremes have you heard of someone going to in the name of superstition?

A relative of one of my co-workers sold his house because it was haunted.

3. Believer or not, what's your favorite superstition?

The one that says that if you don't link to Ambient Irony regularly, your hair, teeth and toenails will fall out.

That and the morbid fear of the number 37,473,382,481.06.

4. Do you believe in luck? If yes, do you have a lucky number/article of clothing/ritual?

No. Therefore, also no.

5. Do you believe in astrology? Why or why not?

No. Because it is complete and utter tripe.

There, that was easy. Now what's for breakfast?

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Blog

Blogopoly

Brought to you by Aaron's Rantblog.

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Cool

Valentine's Day Special

This one is for Susie, Cherry, Jennifer, Mookie, LeeAnn, Roxette, Stevie, Heather, Helen, Linda, Annika and Sarah:
Throw Rocks At Boys
Until they hand over the flowers and chocolates, anyway.

(Thanks to The International Squirrel Conspiracy.)

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Blog

Beal's Revenge

Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at 03:14 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
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