Friday, January 06


Two Cows

Sydney: You have two cows. Although you booked them into a private preschool before they were born, you nonetheless find yourself on a waiting list. Meanwhile you keep them on an acreage in Dural, where you form a co-op to share the un-pasteurised milk until the entire group is suddenly wiped out by botulism.

Melbourne: You have two cows. Since no-one drinks dairy products any more, you enroll them at Moonash University. One graduates and goes on to become head of the ABC's Drama Division. The other becomes front page news when it is killed by a tram.

Adelaide: You have two cows. Their milk is undrinkable, so you apply for a government subsidy and buy expensive imported milk like everyone else.

Byron Bay: You have two cows. Duuuuude.

Darwin: You have two cows. Neither of them gives any milk between September and May. No-one cares.

Perth: You have two cows. The minute they turn sixteen they drop out of school and move to Sydney.

Cairns: You have two cows. You trade one for three baby crocodiles and a one-legged kangaroo, and open a wildlife park. Contrary to expectations, it is a huge success.

Canberra: You have two cows. Together you start a business selling cow-oriented adult movies over the internet. You become rich, and decide to go into politics, where you find that the work is the same but the pay is worse.

(Two cows page via Chapomatic)

Posted by: Pixy Misa at 10:32 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
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1 The fate of Brisbane's two cows can be found here, under "Queensland Democracy".

Posted by: mitchell porter at Friday, January 06 2006 11:41 PM (mr6sB)

2 Existentialist Australia: You have two giraffes. You sell one and use the money for harmonica lessons.

Posted by: Wonderduck at Saturday, January 07 2006 01:44 AM (KnWO3)

3 Oops. I meant to type "surrealist", not "existentialist."

Posted by: Wonderduck at Saturday, January 07 2006 01:45 AM (KnWO3)

4 Singularitarian: You have two cows. You breed miniature cows and sell the more efficient bovines to smaller farmers and as pets.

Posted by: TallDave at Thursday, January 12 2006 11:18 AM (As+Mr)

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