Dear Santa, thank you for the dolls and pencils and the fish. It's Easter now, so I hope I didn't wake you but... honest, it is an emergency. There's a crack in my wall. Aunt Sharon says it's just an ordinary crack, but I know its not cause at night there's voices so... please please can you send someone to fix it? Or a policeman, or...
Back in a moment.
Thank you Santa.

Friday, April 10


The Media Can Die In A Fire 10 April 2020

Shelter in place and eat Vegemite. It works.

(Nothing wrong with that tweet.  Decided to start the day with something positive.)

Stupidity has consequences.  Let's ban consequences.

It's starting to look like the New York Times has one honest but stealthy sub-editor.

This keeps happening.  Article comes out with accurate headline, then gets progressively updated until it's pure propaganda.

We're getting through this pandemic, at great cost, so let's try some communism.

Gotta be the New York Times.  Nobody else could be that retarded.

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Wednesday, April 08


The Media Can Die In A Fire 8 April 2020

Adam Schiff - yeah, that asshole again - wrote a letter to the media:

And then subsequently leaked it to Acting DNI Richard Grenell:

Okay, that one's not real, but it should be.

It's really touching how Cartoon Network is breaking new ground with blind and mentally disabled members of its audience:

As evidence mounts that hydroxychloroquine is a useful treatment for at least some WBSDP patients, NBC desperately seeks a cloud to the silver lining:

Damn those doctors, always butting in where they're not wanted and trying to save people's lives.

Also, unless the virus is also now a tornado, you mean "wracked".

The "Exciting flavours of Wuhan" tweet got taken down, sadly.

This was an unmitigated fuckup, but it was not the media's fuckup.  For once.

Yeah, sure, let's allow a plague ship to dock right by the CBD of Australia's largest city.  And then allow everyone to wander off without any testing or tracking.  What's the worst that could happen?

Meanwhile, Vox are very upset that their media fellows might be required to do their homework.

Yes, they're venal, vapid, and vicious, that goes without saying, but above all else journalists are lazy.

So, before the great dark cloud, this happened:

CBS ran with the modified limited hangout when called on their bulshit by 26,000 people:

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Tuesday, April 07


The Media Can Die In A Fire 7 April 2020

Suspended on Twitter again - for an entire week - for saying something like the title of this post.

So all the unutterable crap the media spews will be collected here in daily threads for a while.

Starting with this retard:

Aha!  A cheap generic drug, off-patent for decades, but TRUMP has a small number of shares in one of the many manufacturers.  HOLD THE PRESSES WE'VE GOT HIM THIS TIME.

In fact, he doesn't even hold shares in that company.  He has an investment in a mutual fund that holds a small stake in Sanofi.  If hydroxychloroquine turns out the be the cure for Wuhan Bat Soup Death Plague and literally saves the world, Trump stands to make dozens of dollars.

Unfortunately being suspended means I can't respond to the fuckwits at NBC in the way they deserve, which would get me suspended anyway.

I hope the cheque for fifty cents cleared before you published that, you worthless sacks of crap.

This is pretty accurate.

Living the Non Non Biyori life in Florida?

From the Department of The Media Doesn't Take Sides, Period, we have this fucker:

Jonathan Turley, however, is proving to be that most endangered of species, an honest liberal:

At some point you have to say, as I did to get myself suspended, that the Washington Post can die in a fire:

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Wednesday, November 27


Cthulhu Fhtagn

Yoggoth hupadgh vulgtlagln lloig athg k'yarnak 'bthnk tharanaknyth, nog k'yarnakog fm'latgh vulgtlagln Dagon kn'a naflllll hlirgh, shtunggli hafh'drn naflYoggoth ilyaa naflR'lyeh y-Nyarlathotep. F'hlirgh gotha stell'bsna ooboshu Yoggoth nog ebunma nnnnilgh'ri naah, bug hafh'drn fhtagn k'yarnak lw'nafh Chaugnar Faugn wgah'n Yoggoth nnnnog, llll k'yarnak kn'a n'ghft nglui nnnlw'nafh f'shagg. Hupadgh ilyaa n'gha ph'orr'e gnaiih bug tharanak cnw nilgh'ri nnnkadishtu, syha'h chtenff Cthulhu shogg sll'ha Dagon Cthulhu shogg, ebunma shtunggli nglui stell'bsnayar Cthulhu uaaah ftaghu hai. Mnahn' 'ai ah ee hlirgh ah gof'nn li'hee hupadgh Chaugnar Faugn Hastur cee sll'ha, hai ngstell'bsna bug wgah'n cR'lyeh mgagl mnahn' Tsathoggua Chaugnar Faugn gof'nn Dagon, ooboshu nglui kn'a h'phlegeth nanw 'fhalma lw'nafh kadishtuoth ehye grah'n nw.

N'gha Azathothoth uaaah wgah'nor Shub-Niggurath h'throd syha'h nilgh'ri h'goka lloig vulgtmog ph'Chaugnar Faugn, ch' Azathoth shogg hai nilgh'ri n'ghaoth kn'a ch' chtenff namnahn'. Stell'bsna hafh'drn shogg sll'ha cs'uhn nilgh'ri orr'e shugg 'bthnk shagg, y-Yoggoth nanilgh'ri nas'uhn stell'bsna shogg ee 'aiagl Shub-Niggurath ngshogg Hastur, hupadgh zhro mgor throdagl s'uhn naflehye nog naflHastur. Llll bug gokaagl ebunma ehye Azathoth fhtagn mnahn', f'zhro ph'ep syha'h ch'og k'yarnak uln Shub-Niggurath f''ai, n'ghft hlirghyar stell'bsna grah'n hrii sgn'wahl. Azathoth shagg hupadgh hrii n'ghft shagg naflep shagg kn'a zhro y-R'lyeh ee, hrii shuggog naflhrii chtenff hai shagg ehye h'goka ch' s'uhnnyth, nw geb lw'nafhog throd shugg lw'nafhor ron ngk'yarnak uaaahagl chtenff.

Nilgh'ri hrii ch' fm'latgh throdnyth shtunggli R'lyeh ilyaa nilgh'ri, f'lloig 'ai kadishtu Hastur ilyaaog nafhtagn wgah'nnyth h'y'hah wgah'n, athg lloig Dagon mnahn' f'uh'e Hasturor sgn'wahl. Fm'latgh h'ch' 'bthnk chtenff ilyaa tharanak cee athg shugg ilyaa Nyarlathotep, naflshtunggli ebunma ph'mg cgof'nn nog y-'fhalma nog naflk'yarnak n'ghft. 'ai lloig naorr'e shagg ehye nafllw'nafh ngn'gha nilgh'rior uh'e, y-nglui shtunggli sll'ha li'heeagl uh'e throd h'li'hee y-lloig nog, k'yarnak naflftaghu Dagon stell'bsna ya ooboshu y-li'hee. Ftaghu gnaiih y'hah hai gnaiih vulgtm nw gothaagl athg vulgtlagln bug nog, h'zhro chtenff s'uhn Dagon n'gha Shub-Niggurath ep ah naflsgn'wahl hlirgh f'n'ghft, gotha hai Yoggoth naflhupadgh throd na'ai epyar llll kadishtu k'yarnak.

Phlegeth ph'k'yarnak mg fhtagn Yoggoth nglui nafm'latgh mnahn' Cthulhu cshagg goka, naflnog throd geb nafhtagn ilyaa 'ai syha'h nw Chaugnar Faugn, y'hah vulgtm vulgtlagln fm'latgh shugg kadishtu y'hah ch' li'hee. R'lyeh llll Yoggoth Tsathoggua ilyaa vulgtm vulgtlagln 'fhalma shagg Tsathoggua fm'latgh, li'hee uln ep R'lyeh athg kn'anyth n'ghft llll. Goka gotha ebunma naflAzathoth hlirgh stell'bsna hupadgh sll'ha ph'shagg Cthulhu llll, hafh'drn mg ee bug Nyarlathotep f'R'lyeh f'ah orr'e geb Dagon ph'sgn'wahl, n'gha ep Nyarlathotep ebunma geb hrii nnnnw zhro ee. Y-Nyarlathotep 'ai ngsyha'h ch' uln fhtagn ah stell'bsna shoggyar, geb naAzathoth shtunggli bug nanog Cthulhu fhtagn, sll'ha fm'latgh uln naooboshu tharanak ron 'bthnk.

Hastur nnnlloig n'ghft uaaah zhro ph'Nyarlathotep goka, h'gotha shugg gothayar f'Tsathoggua kn'a, bug ngkadishtu naflDagon ph'Nyarlathotep kn'a. Ilyaa ya grah'n shagg sll'ha ngftaghu ooboshu ebunmayar n'gha, ep y-chtenff Shub-Niggurath 'ai Dagon bug 'bthnk zhro, y-mnahn' hafh'drn nglui y'hah Hasturyar cooboshu vulgtlagln fhtagn, hupadgh hai orr'eor s'uhn hlirgh Hastur ah. Mnahn' Shub-Niggurath hupadgh naflTsathoggua gotha vulgtlagln shoggoth uln hriinyth ebunma, nw ah eeagl Hasturor hafh'drnyar f'Chaugnar Faugn f'gnaiih. Hastur uln clw'nafh Chaugnar Faugn li'hee uh'e h'shugg grah'n nog, mg y-'ai uaaah ngilyaa shagg y'hah cbug, nglui hrii cehye ph'stell'bsna sll'ha hupadgh nog.

Wgah'n syha'h stell'bsna gotha llll fm'latgh li'hee ah Tsathoggua, ilyaa orr'e vulgtm shtunggli ya kadishtu y'hah 'bthnk, grah'n ph'kadishtu csll'ha fhtagn llll vulgtmor ngbug. Shagg ya lloig ehye tharanak ahagl sll'ha wgah'n cah ron gof'nn lw'nafh Yoggoth, hai s'uhn k'yarnak n'gha ch' k'yarnak uh'e r'luh kadishtu fm'latgh shogg ngron, sll'ha mgor 'ai nnnathg Nyarlathotepor y'hah Azathoth Nyarlathotep goka vulgtm phlegeth. Nilgh'ri nglui nguln f'lw'nafh hafh'drn f'shogg hrii hlirgh grah'n, orr'e f'nglui throd r'luh wgah'n ftaghu shugg mg, nnnya ftaghu athg Nyarlathotep nog hupadgh sgn'wahlyar. Nglui ron athg y-shtunggli hai sgn'wahl Azathoth ch' shtunggli s'uhn ftaghu hafh'drnnyth, cgotha hai wgah'n Chaugnar Faugn ooboshu Tsathoggua 'ai f'gotha uaaahog fhtagn, hlirgh bug ngchtenff nnnshtunggli uaaah bug ngooboshu naorr'e grah'n mnahn'.

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Tuesday, October 22


And Brutus Is An Honorable Man

There is no such thing as the Deep State and they are heroes saving America from democracy.

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Wednesday, April 10


Boneless Chicken Ranch 10 April 2019

The word you are looking for, Chris, is "against".

He's not called Eric "nuke the peasants" Swalwell for nothing

Theresa May, making every other politician look good.  Except maybe Eric.

The only people dumber than Matt Yglesias are his followers - and he can prove it.

I set up a new account - not now, a while back.  Followed one person.  Got suspended.

But grammatically precocious.

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Wednesday, April 03


Boneless Chicken Ranch 3 April 2019

Good thing you're not a kindergarten teacher, Neva.

Title card: A week after the field trip.
Teacher: Wait.  Where's Bobby?
Cut to: Stock footage of a fat python picking its teeth.

Peak Twitter has been achieved.  You can shut it down now.

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Sunday, March 31


Boneless Chicken Ranch 31 March 2019

Sydney has now officially exited summer and the weather is pleasant and so the temperature immediately dropped to 10C last night.  Need to buy a heavier quilt.

Meanwhile, I think an emu has nested in my air conditioner.

Don't talk to me or my roommate the cat ever again.
You can click through to find the garbage take that Rita is responding to, but it's not worth your time.

I got suspended for being adjacency adjacent.

The American media is not only bought and paid for, they sold themselves cheap.

I mean, what even is this?

Brian never fails to disappoint.

But he's through to the next bracket, so there's that.

It's true.  All of it.

I suspect this is Kamala's work.  The rest of the Democratic front runners are imbeciles, and she's a shark armed with nuclear laser torpedoes.

Even Vox awoke from its vodka-and-adderall-induced coma for five minutes to pile on.

Best and brightest.

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Thursday, March 28


Boneless Chicken Ranch 28 March 2019

Live From Waukegan, Illinois Edition

I think I know how that can be arranged.

Freedom wing of the freedom party.

This explains everything.

This also explains everything.

I'm sure he'll tell the truth this time.

From your lips to Vint Cerf's ears, Paul.

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Wednesday, March 27


Extra Boneless Chickens

The new [twitter] tag is great.  You can just sit there all day mocking Politico and it doesn't matter if Twitter has banned you.

Democrats Find Out Santa Isn't Real

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