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Thank you Santa.
Friday, November 28
Religion is not a topic I've discussed here before, but I thought I might tackle it today, as it will explain why I didn't post anything yesterday.
I am a member in good standing (indeed, a lay preacher) of the Invisible Pink Hello Cthulhu Church of Last Thursday.
We of the IPHCCoLT have only a few articles of faith, but we hold to them firmly.
1. The Lord of All is Cthulhu the Great and Powerful.All praise Cthulhu the G&P, and may He** eat us last!
2. Notwithstanding His* exulted position, He** is small and cute and will feature in a Genuine Licensed Range of Products to be released by Sanrio starting 2004.
3. He** is also both pink and invisible.
4. Cthulhu the G&P, despite being small and cute, will eat us all. Church members will not be exempted from the Apocalypse, however, they will be eligible for reserved seating.
5. The Universe was created last Thursday, with all that is in it, including ourselves, our memories, and the IPHCCoLT.
6. For this reason, we hold Thursdays as sacred, and will do as little work as possible thereon.
* Or Its.
** Or It.
Tuesday, November 25
I care about the environment. I like having air that's fit to breathe, water that's safe to drink, green trees to look at, cute fuzzy animals and all that. I hate scumbags who dump waste straight into rivers to save a few dollars or throw their empties out the car window.
But I've never voted for the Greens because I considered them a single-issue party, and there are many priorities that need to be balanced in running a country.
Turns out that I was wrong: The Herald Sun reports that the Greens have a wide-ranging agenda:
[Bob Brown's] Greens want higher taxes for all, but particularly for business, whose taxes will leap from 30 cents in the dollar to "at least 49 cents". Bye-bye jobs.So, with no uranium, no coal-fired power stations, no water in the dams for hydroelectric power, no farms, no jobs, and no roads, we're all going to sit at home and starve in the dark. But at least we'll be happy:
But that's if those businesses are allowed to exist in the first place. The Greens want to ban smelters, end uranium mining, "phase out old coal-fired power stations", "dramatically reduce . . . use of fossil fuels for transport", stop genetic engineering and limit mining exploration.
Dams will be made to hold less water, and farms will be abandoned and roads dug up until the land they occupy is "below 1995 levels".
This will help "people to fulfil their real . . . social needs", which the Greens believe may include taking drugs.I'm in favour of decriminalisation, at least of marijuana. But as a path to "personal fulfilment", drugs rate up there with the Greens' defense policy:
Yes, the Greens say drugs should be decriminalised, heroin handed out and softer drugs made "more freely available" because people need "the opportunity to achieve personal fulfilment" and that "may, for some people at particular times, involve the use of drugs".
They plan to give "non-violent civilian resistance training" to a civil force which can help defend us should we be "militarily threatened".I feel safer already.
(via Tim Blair)
Thursday, November 13
In the category Most Bizarre Sentence Containing Both A Reference To The Vice-President And The Word Dominatrix:
Dick Cheney thought the war could showcase his transformation of America into a dominatrix superpower.Blink.
You mean, like, America in stiletto heels and fishnet stockings and a corset, bearing a whip? Talk about big-concept.
(Maureen Dowd in the NYT.)
Friday, November 07
An over-friendly kleptomaniac camel named Twinkle is terrorising tourists in its search for love in Central Australia.Hang on, Wauchope is where? Hey, how about that. There really is a Wauchope 400km north of Alice Springs, as well as one 400km north of Sydney. Anyway:
Locals at Wauchope, 400km north of Alice Springs, say the five-year-old hungry camel cow is infamous for stealing and eating whatever it can get its teeth into from cars parked nearby.
When unsuspecting motorists pull up outside the hotel the curious Twinkle pokes her head inside the vehicle, inspects the roof-rack and makes off with anything in sight.Really? How is that, Lee?
But Wauchope Hotel owner Lee Richard said Twinkle's already bad behaviour changes dramatically at the sight of a swag in a visitor's car.
"She pulls swags out of the utes and mounts them as if she's copulating," he said.Um. As far as I am aware, girl-on-top is a novel position for camels. Not that I am any expert in camel sex, mind you.
"Whenever they pull up, if she's out the front she'll grab one.Please keep your car windows closed while visiting Australia. Thank you.
"I dare say that anything else left she grabs through an open window."
Twinkle was sold to Mr Richard for $500 in 1999 after his goat died.Well, yes, I can see how... Uh, what?
"We've always had animals walking around the place," he said.It followed me home! Can we keep it?
"We were one short so we got the camel.
"We let her out in the morning at 8am. She and the donkey wander around and come back around mid-afternoon."Donkey?
Well, if Twinkle becomes too much of a problem, perhaps these people can help:
A Northern Territory company is calling for help to fill export orders, but it is not looking for coal, wool or any of the other commodities we normally send overseas.Um, yeah, okay. Still, with an estimated 500,000 feral camels on the loose across Australia, it's clear something must be done.
Over the past 12 months, demand for Australian camel meat from South East Asia has skyrocketed with the Middle East and North Africa also showing promising signs.
Can you imagine the damage half a million swag-stealing, ute-humping camels could cause?
This is a quokka, a small kangaroo-like critter found on Rottnest Island off the coast of Western Australia. They are cute and
But do not feed the quokkas, even if they have the appropriate coupons. They may become ill and throw up on your shoes.
Thursday, November 06
According to this little chart, I'm to the left of all but two of the current Democrat presidential candidates. (I'm also more libertarian than any of them.)
Difference being, of course, that they are idiots and I'm not. You can be an idiot no matter what your political persuasion may be. Though the reverse is not true: There are some political standpoints that are impossible to take unless you are an idiot. (Or actively evil, or insane. Or some combination of those three; it's never a good idea to forget that someone may be an evil, insane idiot.)
Tuesday, November 04
I got to meet him once - really nice guy. Time to read Mission of Gravity again.
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