Dear Santa, thank you for the dolls and pencils and the fish. It's Easter now, so I hope I didn't wake you but... honest, it is an emergency. There's a crack in my wall. Aunt Sharon says it's just an ordinary crack, but I know its not cause at night there's voices so... please please can you send someone to fix it? Or a policeman, or...
Back in a moment.
Thank you Santa.

Tuesday, July 19


The Other End Of The Spectrum

The other end of the spectrum from clueless junior programmers who tell you that your database can't scale to the level you already have it at, is highly paid and experienced consultants who tell you the exact same thing.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at 04:13 PM | No Comments | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
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Friday, July 15


Send Them All Back To 1985

Listens to developer explaining how MySQL is no good for really large databases, like, over 100MB.

Looks at 6TB MySQL production database handling several thousand transactions per second.*

Raises eyebrow.

It's pretty obvious he's got broken joins.  The advantage we had back in the good old days was that rather than taking several seconds to return your data, it would take several weeks, and you could hear the drive heads thrashing about while it happened, so it was kind of obvious that you'd screwed up.

I've seen far too many programs where someone has failed to realise that the half a second or so that a function takes is because they've got it completely wrong, and it should be taking milliseconds or even microseconds.  Send them all back to 1985, I say.  Here's your Unix box.  We just upgraded it: It now has two megabytes of RAM!

* Mind you, it's not easy to get MySQL to scale that big on a single server.  But 100GB is perfectly manageable, and that's a thousand times what this guy was talking about.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at 08:06 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
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