It was a bad day. A lot of bad stuff happened. And I'd love to forget it all. But I don't. Not ever. Because this is what I do. Every time, every day, every second, this: On five, we're bringing down the government.

Sunday, December 20


Sky Captain And The World Of Tomorrow

42 Days of Summer #1

Directed and written by Kerry Conran
Starring Gwyneth Paltrow, Jude Law, Angelina Jolie
2004, 106 minutes

Were it not for the leaden acting, incoherent script, sophomoric direction, and trite score, this film might have...  Wait, that doesn't actually leave much, does it?  Or indeed, anything at all.

I could say that some of the sets look nice, but there aren't any sets; the entire film was shot on digital green-screen.  I could say that some of the action sequences are good (the only saving grace of the last Die Hard film) except that frankly, they're not.  I could say that the Art Deco-inspired art and architecture and colouring made this a visual treat, but I'd be lying; it's about as visually striking as a fallen soufflé.

The chemistry between the lead actors is actually negative; the plot makes less than zero sense.  I literally had my head in my hands several times towards the end of this film.

I wanted to see this when it first came out, and even bought the DVD, but somehow never got around to it.  I'm sorry that I eventually did.  Even after hearing that it wasn't very good, the vague idea of it I had in my head was vastly better than what Conran actually made.

I made it to the end, but at one point I wandered into the kitchen to get a drink without pausing the movie, and I never do that.  I can see the screen from the kitchen, but still...

Rotten Tomatoes gives it a rating of 72%, which is absurd.  It tanked at the box office, and deservedly so.  Even at 106 minutes - not long for a modern feature film - it needed to be cut drastically.

I rate it one tiny elephant out of four.


Next up: Terry Gilliam's Twelve Monkeys.

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