Saturday, December 24


Daily News Stuff 24 December 2022

Taylor Swiftly Edition

Top Story

Tech News


  • On May 1 Intel predicted chip shortages would ease before, um, 2025, both CPUs and GPUs where selling at MSRP - some of them, Kindle's EPUB but not MOBI, Snap's Pixy, Sony's Prism.

  • On May 2 the cost to transfer a single NFT on Ethereum hit $3500 - totally not a bubble, the Ugly Monkey JPEG people launched a new scam and it immediately got stolen, and Decepticons.

  • On May 3 Plastic Nine, where your recycling actually goes, new scanners, I underestimate how much desk I could fit, RDNA3 added thingies, Squenix committed blockchain suicide, and so did Facebook.

  • On May 4 China invaded Russia - in Minecraft, AMD confirmed plans for 16 core laptops, the Gigabyte Aero 16 was shiny but expensive, and Axios was garbage.

  • On May 5 update your Chrome right now, Heroku got hacked, Connie Willis call your lawyers, and Sara Nagare's 45,000 viewers.

  • On May 6 save us from the libertarian billionaires, 8TB SSDs were expensive, stop disabling zoom, and New York declared war on crypto miners.

  • On May 7 Xbox crashed, QNAP - again, declaring email bankruptcy, and, and, and, and, and, speculative prefetch bit Apple's M1, and you couldn't buy books in the Kindle app.

  • On May 8 invading New House City in winter, sudden concern over Twitter's existing investors, how to back up Gmail, and Threadripper 7000 wasn't coming any time soon.

  • On May 9 regulators told regulatees that regulation is bad - again, the average time before a new WordPress got hacked was less than the time taken to set it up, and the US Treasury sanctioned Blender.

  • On May 10 Russia sued the rest of the world, I couldn't afford the shipping, don't use YikYak, solving global warming with cloned mammoths, and more nice laptops you can't get in Australia.

  • On May 11 send help and gluten free pizza, fuck YouTube, the Terra stablecoin wasn't, Journalists Against Free Speech, and six figures was the new five figures.

  • On May 12 fuck Polygon, once chip to rule them all, MIPS dropped MIPS, and serial enetrepeneurn'tism.

  • On May 13 Twitter started firing anyone remotely competent, the EU wanted to BIK the BIKs, Google fixed some of the most broken YouTube stuff, BBC Basic for anything, and gas in bottles.

  • On May 14 AMD leaked - including some stuff that hasn't shown up yet, Luna followed Terra down the hole because that's what happens when you tie two things together and throw them in a hole, and securing open source software would cost far less than a single security incident.

  • On May 15 cutting off fingers for fun and profit, Kobo got banned because fuck YouTube - again, the general form of the Seven Colour Map Theorem, and great APUs of fire.

  • On May 16 Venus Protocol followed Terra and Luna down the hole, Python got faster, just tape a GPS unit to your 1970s fighter jet, and Heroku continued to have a bad day.

  • On May 17 the guy who blew up two planets and a major moon was seeking investors to do it again, road trains without the road, and Web3 was not even P2P.

  • On May 18 got the last piece of paper I needed to buy the house I had already bought - that process was rather backwards from how normal people do it, "We're all commie as fuck", 21 Linux desktops compared and they're all the same, and the component shortage was solved when the economy cratered and people abruptly stopped buying stuff.

  • On May 19 I had a house - I mean officially, paperwork signed, sealed, and electronically delivered, serves Google right, what a disaster it would be if the wrong people were permitted to speak, DigitalOcean's price increase, Vultr's didn't (and since then they've more than doubled bandwidth allocations, making it an even better deal), and Aussie Broadband all the way.

  • On May 20 Web3 was going great, Twitter announced it would simply shiv users in the back if it wanted to, Netflix made things worse, Framework's 12th gen models, and you're not gonna believe this but QNAP.

  • On May 21 my cunning plan for dealing with slow Amazon deliveries in New House City was just to buy everything I could need before I needed it - a plan that is working so far and I'm not even close to running out of storage space, Russia turned to China for CPUs - a plan that didn't work out so well, the RTX 4080, the four day work day, and Google's new AI was just the latest victim of Dunning Kruger.

  • On May 22 beyond 1nm, AMD's dual chipset chipset, and Apple fled China.

  • On May 23 AMD announced Ryzen 7000 - and also for some reason Ryzen 2000, what's in which Python, looking gift horses in the mouth, and the $1200 79-pound toolkit for replacing your iPhone battery.

  • On May 24 double it, add one, and use the next larger unit, GitLab 15, criminals gonna crim, and PCIe 5 SSDs are behind schedule.

  • On May 25 criminals also gonna steal Ugly Monkey JPEGs, 500Hz monitors, expensive motherboards, and Spain has a chip industry?

  • On May 26 Eastasia has always been at war with Elonania, China's concentration camps got hacked, and Twitter got fined $150 million by the FTC for, and I quote, "being rampaging shitweasels".

  • On May 27 when even Vox can tell your scam is a scam you need a better scam or dumber victims, the high-end Ryzen 7000s would have a 170W TDP (I wonder what the new 7900 will be), and Broadcom bought VMWare for $61 billion, or as we now measure it, six crypto scams.

  • On May 28 omnipotent BMCs from Quanta remaind vulnerable to the critical Pantsdown threat, an 8K gaming resolution or maybe not, the US was falling behind in the race to set trillions of dollars on fire, there was more than one maker of PCs, and how to cancel Amazon Prime (click the cancel button).

  • On May 29 a $70 Bluetooth water bottle with microtransactions, reboot your crabs, remote learning ads, and Pikamee vs. GlaDOS.

  • On May 30 I threw out an actual, literal ton of junk, robot orders were up 40%, two right-to-repair bills died, and the iPhone didn't jump to 3nm.

  • And then on May 31 reasons, Vodafone declared war on privacy, Needy Joueur-Animateur en Direct Overdose, and blockchain, the amazing solution for nobody's problems.

Disclaimer: Rampaging Shitweasels WBAGNFARB.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at 05:12 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
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1 Shorter arse techniqua:  We're happy to gloss over the fact that tiktok/bytedance is even collecting this information, let alone that it's easily accessible to random employees, because it's important to support chinese spy programs.

Posted by: normal at Sunday, December 25 2022 12:27 AM (obo9H)

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Apple pies are delicious. But never mind apple pies. What colour is a green orange?

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