Thursday, June 02

Life

A Dream of Smoke and Sparks

Once upon a time, there were five distinctive national holidays in Australia.

Christmas, of course, the season of eating too much and spending too much. And heatwaves and bushfires.

New Year's Eve, when you got to stay up late (unless you fell asleep on your half-glass of champagne).

Easter. Chocolate! Easter Hat Parade! More chocolate!

Anzac Day, our national remembrance day. (We also observe Armistice Day, but it's not a holiday.)

And Fireworks Day. More formally, the Queen's Birthday (though it actually doesn't occur on her birthday). But to us kids, it meant fireworks. Not big fireworks off in the distance, but fireworks Dad brought home and set off himself. Right there in the garden, while you gathered around in your pyjamas and dressing gowns. Whoosh! Pop! And then off for some hot cocoa, because it's getting chilly by this time of year.

No more. Eighteen years ago the New South Wales state government decided that the people were too stupid to be allowed fireworks, and banned their sale. Miserable pissant nanny-state crapweasels.

I have a dream, a dream of smoke and sparks, a dream that one day we shall rise up and kick the bastards out and take back the right to accidentally burn our eyebrows off every so often.

Who's with me?

Posted by: Pixy Misa at 04:38 AM | Comments (10) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
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1 I am. I'll never forget watching my Dad scramble for his life as yet another firecracker burnt the grass on our front yard. You can't buy those memories.

Posted by: Simon at Thursday, June 02 2005 05:40 AM (UKqGy)

2 Hehe, see this is why every nation needs a 2nd Amendment: to put the fear of the citizenry into the gov't.

Posted by: TallDave at Thursday, June 02 2005 11:37 AM (9XE6n)

3 Oh, and as a scarred and decorated veteran of many a teen fireworks war, I too am proud to enlist in your cause.

Posted by: TallDave at Thursday, June 02 2005 01:06 PM (9XE6n)

4 I'm with you. Sure I'm hiding behind a tree because I've been popped one to many times in the head by a misguided bottle rocket, but I'm with you. So would I be breaking international laws if we accidentally shipped you a case or two of fireworks?

Posted by: phin at Thursday, June 02 2005 01:18 PM (Xvpen)

5 I'm with you. I believe in Social Darwinism, and i know that there is only ONE reason for the "DO NOT PLACE IN MOUTH" warning on fireworks. (still have my original eyebrows, but victim to SEVERAL arm hair-ectomies via 'Fountains of sparks,' too young for the REAL McCoys. Oh, and Yes, you CAN hold in hand after lighting. Heck, in Japan, it's a rite of passage to manhood to hold onto huge fireworks till the bottom explodes out. Is it bad when the parenthetical is longer than the original comment?) :-D

Posted by: tommy at Thursday, June 02 2005 09:49 PM (OJ+GI)

6 If you think this bad, England is trying to impose... knife control.

Posted by: TallDave at Friday, June 03 2005 12:42 AM (H8Wgl)

7 Yeah, I know. Miserable fuckers. We've had metal knives for 5000 years and stone ones for 30,000 years prior to that, and now they decide we're too dumb to handle them?

Posted by: Pixy Misa at Friday, June 03 2005 01:21 AM (AIaDY)

8 Heh heh heh... I used to have a pyrotechnican's licence. Boom. Heh heh heh...

Posted by: Wonderduck at Friday, June 03 2005 01:24 AM (86QII)

9 Well, here's hoping you can find some at your nearest equivalent indian reservation.

Posted by: Mike Beversluis at Sunday, June 05 2005 11:45 AM (SvK3c)

10 What were the ones that used to come in a tube about the size of a tennis-ball can. I seem to remember some idjits pointing them at each other (they had about five or six firework balls that came out one after another). One guy though he had fired all of his and put the tube down at which point the last one flew out and set his (long) hair on fire - spectacular actually.

Posted by: Ozguru at Monday, June 06 2005 09:08 AM (BY/Ur)

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